Did you know that September is National Suicide Prevention Month?

@greenteakitten
I tried to relate my personal struggle with the issue when I was a child but I exceeded the limit.
So I'll just post the essential message...

Be strong,you can survive and through your survival you will emerge stronger. I went through some awful abuse as a kid,my father was a monster,who the hell breaks their sons arm,beats their mother and laughs about it ? The last time I saw him was over the barrel of a gun. I had a 22 he had a 45 and he fled. Child abusers are cowards and I've bloodied the nose of more than one who abused a child in my presence. Damn it the role of a Man is to protect the weak not to victimize them.
I hate abusers and I will not tolerate it. I know what it is like. Thank God I somehow found the strength to resist suicide though I was sorely tempted.

So the OP is trying to reach out a hand to help you. Please take it if you are thinking of suicide.
I wish I had had someone to talk to when I was a kid.
This for me is all long in the past and I did survive and it made me stronger. In my case I decided basically screw this ( suicide) I'm not giving up.
I was all alone. You don't have be.

Please, I know it's hard to talk about but you should take a chance and speak to someone who wants to help.
Greenteakitten may be that someone for you. I personally, as someone who has been there have the utmost confidence in her.

I wish only the best for anyone who is contemplating suicide and remember there are people who do understand what you are going through.

Ya'll stay strong out there .

@Dukedog

I am so sorry. No child should have to go through what you did. I'm glad you didn't attempt; you are an amazing person from what I can see on Lichess.

And yes, echoing what you said - sometimes when I look at my friends, I wonder what would happen if one day they disappeared? If one day they decided enough was enough and ended it all? I know that I would move mountains for even just two more minutes with them. Not just my closest friends, everyone. I want to be here for you whether I know you or not, and be able to support you. Even if it's only for two minutes - perhaps in that two minutes I can convince you not to follow through. At least, I hope I can.

So please. Reach out here. I want to be able to help, however little difference I can make.

(Slightly off-topic, but did you know that men are four times more likely than women to commit suicide? Many people struggle with the idea that they have to be strong and can't show emotion, so they bottle it all up...and one day they can't anymore.

Please, if you are one of those people reading this right now, don't. There is help, and there is no shame in seeking it regardless of gender.)

@greenteakitten

Thank you.
Yes you are correct about men and suicide.
I guess speaking of your pain as a male is difficult.
Somehow for males this is perceived as a weakness.
It's not.

All in all other than a rocky start I've immensely enjoyed life,sailed the seas,skydived and am blessed with the love of a good woman ( we've been married 45 years).
Life can be sweet though I understand the suicidal motivation
Life is beautiful. If you need help by all means seek it. Life is worth living . Things can get better but you have to make it get better.

This is the voice of experience speaking here.

Much joy is to be found in helping others.

I have checked the link and replied to the first message.

I will respond to anything provided that is not off-topic (off topic in this case would be anything that is not a rant looking for support and possibly advice).

Good night!

@greenteakitten
Thank you for your efforts. :)
Glad to see people are responding :)

Good night.

@vihaanthegr8 said in #16:

To everyone out there, I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore.
It just hurts too much.
I'm going to say goodbye in grace.

TAF!!! What do you mean by this!!!

Are you going to actually 'redact' yourself???
You and me can talk if you want.

@vihaanthegr8 said in #16:

To everyone out there, I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore.
It just hurts too much.
I'm going to say goodbye in grace.

Really, don't do it. Not going to help with anything.
Like all emotions, the hurt will eventually pass. There's plenty to live for.
I hope you didn't do it

Don't commit suicide. I once almost did 20 years ago with a bull pup 12 gauge in my mouth. I was close to pulling the trigger. And I saw a vision with my eyes closed crying. It's not God's will guys. After I saw what I saw. I laid down the gun. Never felt so much peace in my life. Hang in there.

@Noprepjustmove said in #20:

Don't commit suicide. I once almost did 20 years ago with a bull pup 12 gauge in my mouth. I was close to pulling the trigger. And I saw a vision with my eyes closed crying. It's not God's will guys. After I saw what I saw. I laid down the gun. Never felt so much peace in my life. Hang in there.

Glad your still with us today!