Random Thoughts Thursday part 11

Anyone who knows me well enough understands that I am not a fan of making excuses. I think we all have potential, but most of us are working far below it. When I look at generations past and what they were able to accomplish as teenagers compared to what is expected of the modern teen, I am always a bit surprised to think of the discrepancy. My parents were married when they were 18 and, a year later, had their first child. They were able to save for a home that my father remodeled to extend the floorplan of the house before I came along four years later. Now, I am not advocating having two kids and a mortgage so early in life because it is stressful, but I am noting that they were able to DO THIS so early in life! My grandparents' generation had even more responsibilities with less education. Different generations definitely had different timelines for life-skill acquisition. Eighty years or so ago, young kids knew how to cook, clean, and look after siblings. In the absence of child labor laws, kids were able to work a lot in factories and earn money for the family too. Don't get me wrong, I don't think young children should have the pressure of joining the workforce or have the responsibility of caring for young children too early in life, but I am just curious about human potential and what a healthy balance is.

Which skills should kids learn?

If you have read more than a few of my posts, you will have already noticed that I am a schoolteacher. I mainly work with teens. These teens have various levels of life skills that have fascinated me because of the wide range of abilities. Some kids have advanced skills, while others have not mastered the basic skills for survival. As a school, we teach the kids the core curriculum in science, math, history, and English, as well as some extras like art, PE, computers, chess (of course), music, etc., but what about life skills? I know that in my parents' generation and mine, there used to be home economics classes and metal shop classes in high school. I never got to try the home economics class because it was for those not planning to go on to college. Vocational classes were offered as an alternative track. I understand that there is only so much time in a day to teach kids, but a cooking class sure would have done me a world of good in my teen years instead of the trial-and-ERROR messes I was making at home.

Leave a note in the comments section about a class you wish would have been taught in school and why.
I know I took ice skating, furniture design, and sculpting in college just for fun while getting my main degree, and those classes were fabulous for improving my balance and coordination, and skills in working with my hands!

Whatever opportunities you had in childhood or whatever limitations you faced, we have all been given the gift of today. Maybe no one ever taught you the critical skills needed to make life a smoother journey, but just because you missed something in childhood does not mean that it is the end of the story. I have met people in my life who had everything handed to them in childhood but grew up to be woefully unprepared for the real world. In contrast, I have met people who had to struggle for much of their achievements and have reached enviable levels of success. The opposite is also true. Some people with an easy path in childhood continue to be successful in adulthood, and some who struggle do fall apart and give up trying after awhile. I think at the core, we all want a life in balance—not too easy to provide no interesting challenges to overcome and not so painfully difficult that we cannot stand up under the pressure.

Living in the Sweet Spot

I think a lot of us worldwide actually live in what I call the "sweet spot." Life is challenging, but not overwhelming. Some of us coast along, not wanting to shake things up because everything is "manageable." Others sit back and complain about all the details, which are not yet perfect in their eyes. Still others try to make improvements in their lives each day. I'm in that third category. I like engaging with my environment and seeing what I can add to my life and the lives of others around me. From childhood, I have been a naturally inquisitive person; in fact, I am willing to bet most children are the same, unless and until the adults in their lives stifle that curiosity. If that is the case for you, the easiest way to inspire your creativity again is to spend the day with the youngest member of your family and follow the lead of a child. Kids are wonderful at reminding us how to be more inquisitive. The younger the child, the more questions they ask. It is through this type of engagement with the world that I have learned the most interesting things in life. Trying new things excites me, and so I often pick up a new hobby for a year or two and stick with the ones that really add value to my life. Chess is well past that two-year mark, so I think it is in my life to stay.

So what stops YOU from creating the life you want?

Discouragement

Excuses

Fears

In my opinion, there are three main reasons that people don't go after the life that they want to live: discouragement, excuses, and fears. It seems to me that, as a society, when someone gets a good idea, they have to fight through an onslaught of naysayers, discouraging them from even trying. Unfortunately, this starts early in life, with some parents not letting their kids try and FAIL while growing up. Kids are discouraged from trying things that adults know will not work out in the end, and sometimes, if not careful, well-meaning adults can discourage kids so often that they learn to stop generating new ideas because "nothing works." I think one thing that is missing from our modern society and needs to make a comeback is the option for kids to be bored. Let me explain. When I was a kid, my parents were not our sole entertainment committee. Sometimes they were busy, and we kids had to entertain ourselves. Those were actually very productive times because we learned how to make things for pretend play or create things that were actually useful. A lot of the crafting items I made as a kid started with some basic skills that I embellished because I was bored one day. As a teacher, I see the need to create space in the "schedule" for kids to get away from screens and explore their own talents and ideas. My classes are full of opportunities for kids to apply concepts they learn in my math classes in creative ways. It is my contribution to encourage them to explore their hobbies while still getting through the year's curriculum that they need for upper education.

If discouragement is mostly about what others say to you, excuses are what we tell ourselves. So often I hear people talk themselves out of following their dreams with the two poisonous words, "I can't." How do you KNOW you can't do something until you try? Sometimes you fail to do something, but in trying, you might discover something new about yourself that is worth doing. Some of my greatest failures in life were foundational and led me to other opportunities. In fact, I remember a few failures along the way that were actually directly related to job opportunities later. Ask me in the comments section, and I'll tell you a bonus story or two about a lost scholarship leading to a much better outcome or the time I failed an exam, which led to not just one job but had a domino effect landing me three jobs within a year.

Finally, I think our greatest enemy to living our best life is the fear of failure. Some people give up far too easily. Successful people fail... A ... LOT. I don't know any amazing people who have ALWAYS gotten everything right the first time they tried. People who live their best lives learn to make friends with mistakes and accept failure as part of the learning process. Kind of like a chess game, yeah? Chess players have to make mistakes in order to calculate better options. We need to do the same in life. Go ahead and free yourself to make a few mistakes and calculate better options in your life too. Like I have said, I am just a simple schoolteacher, but I am fortunate enough to work in an environment that allows me to create the things I want to see in my workplace. In the time that I have been there, I have written proposals for and implemented: after-school homework clubs for kids, cooking classes for staff, dance teams for students, workout programs for my colleagues, chess clubs, chess tournaments, reading programs for kids, project-based learning programs, design and decoration groups for various school events, etc. If I sit and think about it long enough, I could list more, but the point is, if I could dream it up, I made it up as I went along, and my school is an even cooler place because of the contributions of not just my proposals but my colleagues' ideas as well. We have created a small piece of the life we want to live. You can too!

I wish you well!
Cheers!